CELEBRATING SEX WEEK AT UNM – part 4

CELEBRATING SEX WEEK AT UNM – part 4 ———-

JIM PECHA, B.ARCH., CHRISTIAN ARTIST,
MINISTER OF CREATIVITY, COPYRIGHT 2014 ———

The University of New Mexico is attempting to openly talk about the variations of sexuality this week, but will probably not talk about the sexuality of adults who were emotionally and sexually abused as children. That responsibility is left for those people who were abused to untangle and discuss.

As I have read and have also experienced, the sexuality formed in childhood stays with you your entire life. The young women I knew in college who were forced to have sex with their fathers needed to reenact those scenes over and over, but now they were in control. They could not be aroused sexually without those details from their childhood, and the details were very important, facial expressions, words spoken, actions and sequence all carried sexual potency. Married spouses trying to fulfill the past scenarios have a difficult task if they’ve never experienced the abuse themselves.

I give the university a lot of credit for attempting such a complex topic, but it can only be a beginning for a discussion on the wider range of life sexual experiences. Very few people want to hear or read about someone else’s sexuality, unless they find them attractive. There probably needs to be a class where each student writes about their own sexuality, anonymously, and then they are put together in a book for everyone to learn about the range of sexual experiences. Mine was unique because it was not simply emotional and sexual abuse, but included religion and art; so what arouses me is incredible convoluted and complex, which is what my Mother aimed at so I wouldn’t be able to unravel it or explain it to anyone else, which she was successful at until recent years. An actual stranger, Maria, understood and tried to help me through the trama. Oh yeah, and a psychologist I accidentally met at an outdoor hot tub business in Santa Fe. She cracked the protective structure my Mother had created and started me on a path of search and discovery.

Sexuality is more than techniques and positions. It comes from deep within our unique individuality.

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