MINISTER OF CREATIVITY, copywrite 2014 ————-

We both knew exercise was one way to deal with our inner demons; so we went out and climbed a rocky hill while talking about the latest thoughts and feelings that had erupted within us. We both had also seen the people around us get tired of hearing about our sexual and emotional abuse from our childhoods, but together we could share our sexual and emotional feelings while exerting ourselves. Alandrax had more of the sexual to talk about and express, mine was mostly emotional. She would take her shirt off and tie it around her waist and hike topless. She was aware it stimulated me sexually, but felt safe that I wouldn’t act on my feelings. And she wouldn’t get tired of hearing about my being naked, whipped and crucified from childhood and then over and over through the years.

As we approached the climbing of this sandstone hill and looked at the peak, we knew when we reached the top we would take each other’s clothes off and stand in the cool wind naked, (in retrospect we should have thought about getting hit by lightning, but passion and obsession overcomes such fears.) She watched to see if I noticed how her tits hung down and jiggled while climbing, just part of the humiliation enjoyment for her. She couldn’t wait till the top and half way up removed her shorts and I put them in my backpack along with her shirt. She wanted me see her rear end too as i climbed behind her. She had seen her Father so many times look at her naked rear end before he penetrated her; so I was re-enacting the history of her humiliation and embarrassment. By not allowing me to penetrate her sexually, she was helping me re-enact my artist Mother wanting to watch me masturbate after posing for her naked in the crucified position. She would watch me at the top. Only the abused can understand each other and help each other, everyone else is repulsed and freaked out, (except for the abusers.) Alandrax wanting me to talk about what I saw as we climbed, about her buttocks, anus and penetrating her. I wasn’t sure what she wanted me to say; so was careful not to ruin her mood. Only after many therapy sessions like this would we know each other’s “trigger words” that would relieve the sexual tension and stress. I’ve asked Alandrax if she would like to write her perspective on our many hikes, but she is more of a visual person than verbal. She said she would tell me and I could write it for her.

After the sexual and emotional exercise we were both exhausted, which included the climb and sat on the rocks at the top feeling embarrassed about everything we had done and said, but felt relieved and satisfied. We then could talk about art, religion and the landscape around us. She would ask for her clothes back urgently as soon as her sexual re-enactment heat of obsession had subsided. We discussed how this type of exercise could help other people, but knew there were too many variables to actually happen. We were lucky we found each other through many (tentative conversations.)


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