copyright 2015, CHRISTIAN ARTIST —————-

The future is understood by our past. Alisha had removed her last name from all her records and was now just Alisha. She seemed relived for a few years not to be burdened by her history. Then on a hike she came across an old adobe house, in a meadow, where she had lived during her late teen years. She immediately realized that her past defined her future, even though the memories were unpleasant. Walking to the door and window, she looked in and tears filled her eyes. For a few years now she had searched for a new life, new experiences and a new identity, but only found shallow emptiness. She had listened to the people who told her, “to move on.” What a mistake that was. She understood now that opening the different doors of her past gave her life direction and meaning. Those people were the “party animals,” living for the latest thrill and avoiding anything serious. Alisha took hold of the doorknob and twisted, something broke and the door opened. Cob webs almost held the door in place. She pushed her way in and saw the old Bible on the flimsy wooden table. She swiped the dust off and saw her father’s name, “Abeta,” I’m Alisha Abeta she said over and over. The closet door next to the table was partially open and she could see the white dress she wore to church every Sunday. The floor creaked with her every step.
Then remembering,she looked across the grassy meadow and saw what remained of the Church. That was one of her happiness memories, going to Church in her white dress. The dress was covered with dirt as she took it from the closet. Shaking it removed most of it, but it was deeply stained with the dirt. It didn’t matter, she took her clothes off, including her bra and panties and put the dress on and began her walk to the Church through the tall grasses. Suddenly the sky seemed to spin, the bells of the church rang out sharply and she remembered what she had tried to forget. Spirits of the past surrounded her thrashing her with small branches. They accused her of seducing their priest, of having sex with him on the altar. They didn’t believe her story that he threatened her with eternal damnation if she didn’t submit. She had to run away from the village and never return, but she wasn’t sure, maybe she did seduce him, remembering the thrill she felt taking her clothes off. She went to Albuquerque where she met an artist and offered to be his model. She now realized she had something to express artistically, by opening the doors to her past. With the artist’s help she began drawing and painting images of the church, the priest, the old Adobe homes and started writing down her memories. She found her future by accepting her past.

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